Disobedience

I have very few rules in place during sex and play. I like structure, not confusion. My sub shouldn't have to think every few seconds about whether this or that is acceptable. One could argue that it's her job to keep it all straight and my job to ensure that she does. You'd be correct. But again, I like simplicity in my structure. It gives more freedoms and options in the moment. Kind of the same way that I'm not a fan of completely immobilizing someone when I restrain them.

As I said, few rules. But please don't break them. I've stopped to punish people for rule breaking before, whether it was a more severe spanking or simply stopping the scene and leaving them alone for a few minutes to think about how displeased I was (surprisingly, probably the harshest punishment I've found for someone in a truly submissive mindset), but nothing quite like the other day when the Teacher broke a very important one.

The rule only applies to a small number of people I've been with. Those who, when they cum, have kind of a full body spasm. This twitching and bucking around underneath me may be what their body wants to do during orgasm, but it can be controlled. It's not involuntary and, more to the point, it can get me hurt. The rule is essentially, When you cum, keep your hips still. I shall explain... The first part is simple. If, between her bucking around and my thrusting movements, I slip out of her I've lost my ability to fully control the orgasm and the sensations. Mildly frustrating, especially if I'm going for something specific. Second, and most importantly, I could get hurt. I don't fuck like a timid schoolboy, especially when I'm fucking her through an orgasm. If I were to slip out and then slam my cock into her pubic bone I could wind up with a penile "fracture". This would most certainly not be good times. It would be an emergency room visit, and no one wants that. I have so far managed to dodge injury but make no mistake, bending my cock against a pubic bone fucking hurts, regardless of the outcome. Men everywhere will back me up on this...

Just the other day, the rule was broken. It's not the first time it's happened. I've stopped to remind her in the past. But this day, after having paused what we were doing to let her come down and give myself a moment to think, I decided I was done explaining. I grabbed a piece of my rope, folded it a few times and told her to roll onto her stomach. I then mentally picked out an area on one ass cheek and proceeded to flog her 25 times. Much, much harder than I had before. Plus, the effect of confining it to a small area with no breaks quickly took away any of the pleasure she would normally get and turned it into flinching and crying out by the time I got to 10, with 15 more to go.

While there may be a bit of a sadist in me that doesn't dislike punishments as much as I had anticipated, I don't enjoy that I have to occasionally discipline her. And even though she was almost proud of the fact that she had difficulty sitting and standing the next day, plus the illicitness of her knowing that just under her skirt were some pretty serious bruises, I'd rather give her those things during play, not punishment.

And under that skirt while she walked around her class that day? This...

Subspace, BRB

Something I've heard about in my adventures in BDSM is a concept called subspace. I never doubted it's existence but had never pushed anyone into it, or perhaps no one ever communicated to me that they may have been there because they were unfamiliar with it and couldn't put a label on the experience. Thinking back, it's quite possible that this was the place GGPB was in when we played with her We Vibe. Uncontrollable waves of orgasms, inability to function for several minutes afterward and the whole seeing stars thing. A possibility, but not a certainty. I think the better explanation is probably "waves", which I'll get into later.

After a bit of research on the Teacher's part today, we know she definitely found her subspace. Taken from Wikipedia:

"Subspace is a metaphor for the state the bottom's mind and body is in during a deeply involved play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The psychological aspect of BDSM also causes many bottoms to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer bottoms who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the bottom isn't placing him or her self in danger. Many bottoms require aftercare while returning from subspace.

During the scene, the intense experiences of both pain and pleasure trigger a sympathetic nervous system response, which causes a release of epinephrine from the suprarenal glands, as well as a dump of endorphins and enkephalins. These natural chemicals, part of the fight or flight response, produce the same effect as a morphine-like drug, increasing the pain tolerance of the submissive as the scene becomes more intense. Since the increase of hormones and chemicals produces a sort of trance-like state, the submissive starts to feel out-of-body, detached from reality, and as the high comes down, and the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, a deep exhaustion, as well as incoherence. Many submissives, upon reaching a height of subspace, will lose all sensation of pain, as any stimulus causes the period to prolong."

I had seen her zone out before but she was typically still responsive and not that far gone. Today was different. I would ask her questions and the answer would be fragments or gibberish. She also mentioned later on that my spanking her between orgasms had not been that hard, except that my hand hurt like hell from the smacking and clearly she had red marks (vaguely shaped like my hand) several hours later. I suppose that goes to the higher pain tolerance of being in that mindset.

Essentially, what went on was this: she was laying on her stomach, facedown on the bed, with me straddling her upper thighs, cock buried inside her. This is probably how we get most of our business done and I highly recommend it. Not only is she pinned down, but I have control of her arms and head as well. I can pull her hair, pull her head back, choke her, gag her, spank her, pin her arms down or hold them... It's just perfect. But I digress. Things went on as usual for a bit with me fucking her for a minute, maybe two, then she'd cum, squirt a bit (she's getting so good at that now), then have a little downtime where I spanked her, teased her, fucked her slowly, then go back to railing her. After a while, I don't know how long, she was in a great place where anything I did was making her get off (more on this below). It was a constant state of "about to cum" or "coming". And squirting. I would ask her questions like "Do you want to cum again?" or if a particular orgasm had subsided, simple yes or no things, and her responses would be incoherent noises. There was even an orgasm in there that was apparently going to happen with or without me. I had paused for a moment and pulled out of her, but after only a few seconds she managed to moan something about coming again and started to convulse under me. So I very kindly buried my cock in her and fucked her through it.

She also experienced as a part of her journey into subspace something called "waves". I'd actually never heard of this, but the way it was described left no doubt that that's what it was. Sure, it's an abstract concept, but it seems to fit perfectly the physical aspects of what her body was doing. It's an interesting way to describe her constant and continuing orgasms coupled with uncontrollable convulsions. Not epileptic, mind you, but her legs and ass were continually twitching while she was coming over and over and over. After we finally finished (in all, this was probably a two hour session) it took her quite some time to come down, focus and be back in reality. The twitching actually continued well beyond the session's end leaving her unable to walk for a while.

Overall, I think I like this deeply involved play. It feels like more of a journey into something more substantial. It allows me to push my dominant role a little further and her to explore a more fully submissive side. Unfortunately, the path to get there is never really the same so pushing her into subspace may not be a regularity, but should we find it again I'll be taking full advantage. And notes.

Consider Me An Ambassador

This will be a short post. I like those who are less experienced. There, I said it. While there's nothing wrong with a woman having been more involved in kink than I have been, there's a different dynamic in the situation that immediately throws the balance off a bit. I like it when that balance is clearly in my favor and I become the teacher, the guide and the aggressor. My past experiences with a couple people who had more experience than I did were certainly fun, but I think I was more focused on observation and picking up new things than I was on being in control, and never really got into a dominant mode.

Someone who doesn't have much experience, however, is kind of like a shiny new toy. There's something to be said for taking someone on a new journey and blowing their mind. The biggest compliment I ever got from a partner new to kink was "You totally redefined what I thought I liked." Sure, it was hugely ego stroking but there was so much satisfaction in taking someone to new territory and having them enjoy it that much. Opening up that brave, new sexual world for them, like it was for me a while ago, is almost more satisfying than the sex itself. It also doesn't hurt that in the process of doing so their desire to have more and more experiences with me is reinforced... Great sex begets more great sex, and so on.

At this point it's hard to imagine people not wanting to explore kink, but I guess a lot of people don't or just don't think about it much. Whether it's preconceived notions, like I had, or the taboo I don't know. But I like to think that's where I come in. A champion of (some) things kink? Perhaps.

Punishment

I have a list as long as my arm of things I want to write about. It's daunting to look at, especially when I add items faster than I scratch them off, but at least it's good to know I won't be running out of ideas for at least the next few months. However, I said I wanted to post more current happenings when possible, so here we go...

This past Thursday the Teacher and I attended a concert that I really wanted to see. A great time was had by all and we headed home after, around midnight. Truth be told, I hadn't planned on anything more than just attending the show and calling it an evening. Plus, I was hungry and tired. We got back to her place, said goodnight and I drove home to eat and get some sleep.

The next day we're texting and she tells me she's been a bad girl and needs to be punished. Having not yet heard her use this particular statement I was curious, but also excited, to hear what she had been up to or done. She starts up a conversation about honesty. A conversation we had already had maybe two weeks prior to this. She wants to know if i've had sex with anyone else since we started sleeping together and exactly what the level of honesty is that we have going on, and just generally beating around some mysterious bush. I press her and ask what this is all about. She says she thought I had lied and ditched her the previous night to go fuck someone else and had considered not speaking to me any more. I was disappointed that she thought I would do that as well as upset at the audacity of her thinking she would simply not speak to me any more without having a discussion. I already had to deal with that kind of immature behavior from GGPB (who, by her own choice, I still don't speak with) and would have been incensed had that happened yet again.

She was right about being bad. And about deserving some sort of punishment. I just wasn't sure what it would be yet. I texted a submissive friend of mine, we'll call her 99, wanting her opinion on what she felt would be an appropriate punishment if she had been in trouble. The relevance being, 99 enjoys spankings so I figured that was probably out of the picture since Teacher does also. I was looking for something a little more creative. I'll go ahead and admit now, that while I did eventually come up with a good scenario I lacked all the necessary tools and opted for an easier route. Anyway... She confided that she did not like her tits being slapped, but would endure it and felt it would certainly be corrective if used on herself. Interesting, and note taken. I continued to discuss what might happen later with the Teacher and told her I hadn't settled on anything yet, but that I would most likely leave her with marks and bruises so she could think about what she did and why the punishment was given when she saw them over the weekend.

When I arrived at her place she grabbed me a drink and we talked for a bit, but not as long as usual. I decided we were going to get right to the punishment before carrying on. I told her to strip and get on her bed. I then bound her wrists together, had her lay on her stomach with her arms above her head near one of the corners and tied the other end of the rope to the headboard. I let her know I was going to take another section of rope, fold it, and flog her with it. Fifty times, and she was to count each one off. She thought this was a lot. I disagreed and told her I was willing to go higher, however, if she wanted to press the issue. She conceded. Then I mentioned the twenty spankings that would be coming after the flogging. She may enjoy a good spanking as foreplay, but I highly doubted those final twenty hits would be anything other than cringe-inducing after her ass was already red and stinging from the rope. "Count them out", I told her. "Be sure I can hear you and don't lose count or we start over." I could see her tensing already.

Each hit was deliberate, paced and, if I do say so myself, well aimed. She started to count them off, but in an unsatisfactorily low tone. "Louder!" She complied. Every few seconds a new hit, a new number and a nice, new set of red marks to go with it. By her own admission later, the first 30 were not so bad (mental note taken, don't go so easy next time). But the next ten were a lot tougher and the final ten, well, I already knew the final ten were a bitch because she cringed and took a sharp breath on each one. Then... the spankings. I gave her about 30 seconds to rest before starting, rubbed her ass a bit to help with some of the sting, but she was still a nice, bright red and I knew that if she thought the final ten floggings were bad she was in for a shock. "Get ready and remember to count." These were meant to be the exclamation point and I gave her no time in between. Ten on one cheek in quick succession and the bruises started showing. She had just enough time to take a breath or two and relax her body before the last ten started on the other cheek. More redness, more bruises and punishment officially over. I gave her a break, rubbed her ass a bit, lay next to her and ran my hands over her body to bring her back down.

We discussed the situation a bit while she was still tied up. Turns out we both enjoyed the flogging more than was really appropriate for a punishment. That's ok, though. I decided we'd play some more with it, grabbed the rope and went back to work on her. First on her ass, then up her back, as well as telling her to spread her legs and lift her ass up to expose her pussy to me and proceeded to flog her pussy as well, which she was pretty fond of. This went on far longer than the punishment phase and we both enjoyed it immensely, much to my surprise.

Now, the official punishment was over but I still had plans to deny her orgasm for quite a while. I moved on top of her and slid my cock into her from behind while she was still laying prone, tied to the bed. We're both huge fans of this position and there are times when she cums practically non-stop. Except for today. I let her know she was absolutely not allowed to cum until I told her (This is already our norm. She's required to ask permission to cum) and proceeded to torture her by banging the hell out of her little pussy, burying myself inside her hard, deep enough to slam into her cervix (which she loves) and fast. Her face was absolutely amazing. A mixture of what could have been the most intense pleasure and crying at the same time. But not literally crying. She was a very good girl and didn't cum the entire time. Well done! There was one surprise, though. At one point, when I could tell she was trying incredibly hard to hold in her orgasm, she started squirting all over us. She's done this here and there in the past, but not this much, and she's progressively getting better having squirted a lot more in that same position just last night. She thought she was in trouble, and apologized, but I told her as long as she wasn't having an orgasm at the same time she could squirt all she wanted.

I eventually allowed her to cum, her penance having been paid, and it was enormous. And long. (That's what she said, anyone?) I don't know how long she actually came but sometimes I swear she strings 4-5 together and just comes for a minute or more.

There was a lesson in this for both of us, however. I need to find a new punishment for next time because we both enjoyed the experience far too much. Not yet sure what that might be, as pain may not be a reliable tool, but we'll see. It is, however, a whole lot of fun to play with and i'm sure we'll try other things and see how far we can push her. How exciting.

Hello, Kink

The disclaimer! These events happened and were written about in 2011 so, you know, don't judge my newly found enthusiasm *too* harshly...

That said, carry on!


Up until the beginning of last year I was pretty vanilla. Not that sex was bad or anything. I had an amazing sex life and there were certainly never any complaints nor lack of prospects. It was just... different. With all my experiences now I would probably describe "different" as, well, not quite as exciting but ignorance is bliss, right?

My concept of kink prior to then was whips, chains and gimp costumes. You know, like in Pulp Fiction. Imagine my surprise when a cute, demure, tiny redhead that I met starts to broach the subject of her liking submission and spankings and all manner of other foreign concepts. This was sounding much less like the clueless stereotype most people carry around and much more like... well, a really good time. We had not yet met in person, but were having a discussion about likes and dislikes as it was fairly obvious we would be sleeping together in the near future. Conversations such as this one are common and necessary when kink is involved, I came to learn. Everyone should have fun but if you bust out a flogger, rope and your assless chaps mid-session without any discussion you risk the whole encounter coming to a quick and uncomfortable stop. For the record I do not own nor will I ever own assless chaps. I may need to put a flogger on the list of fun things to buy, though. Rope? Check.

This discussion, however, was quickly putting cracks in my vanilla world one sentence at a time... We talked about how she liked to relinquish control of the situation, be told what to do, be used (quite literally) as a fuck toy, a slave to her Dom's whim and pleasure. I don't recall what I may have said in response to her revelations but I do know I was intrigued. Excited, even. I was beginning to realize that this part of me had always been there, I could see it when thinking about my past experiences, but I had never tapped into it. I had never told anyone what to do, commanded them, never been in a situation where the woman told me Do whatever you want with my body. I'm yours. If it gives you pleasure it will make me happy. Those are some serious words. A totally new world. And holy crap a lot of responsibility! Sure, you can tell me you're giving in to whatever I want to do, but... what if i suck at this? I mean, it sounds so easy, right? Do whatever makes me feel good and will make me happy. Ok, but what if those things bore the piss out of her? Fuuuuuck.

Luckily, because I was always pretty open and comfortable talking about sexuality I went ahead and outed myself. "I would love to get together with you and have some fun but I really have no idea what the fuck i'm doing and, quite likely, will be pretty bad at this the first couple times." Something I really enjoy about the kink world is that honesty is expected and met with positive discussions. She told me she'd give me some guidance, help me find my more dominant self and start by introducing me to things that she enjoyed, such as spanking and choking. Easy enough. I thought. I would quickly come to find out that my hand would give in long before her resilient little ass did.

Not long after that discussion we met up for dinner. We talked more about kink, things that turned us on, past experiences and things I thought I might like to get into. Talk will only get you so far and we were both getting extremely worked up so we paid and made quick work of the distance between the restaurant and her place.

Once there we got right down to business. I sat on her couch, right in the middle, and had her lay across my lap (still fully clothed) so that her ass was perfectly positioned over my legs. My first command? "Pull up your skirt. All the way." She lifted her ass, reached back with both hands and pulled/wiggled her tight pencil skirt all the way up to her waist, revealing a very nice ass fully and thoughtfully left exposed by a pair of thong underwear. Being that I had never spanked anyone in such a manner (a little ass slapping during sex, sure) I didn't exactly jump right in but rather started running my hands over her ass and thighs, exploring her exposed skin with my fingertips, staying away from her still-covered lips but getting enticingly close, feeling her warmth.

The first smack was... pretty light, followed by a quick brush of my hand over her skin (more symbolic at this point since her ass certainly wasn't stinging from that first hit). I repeated this several times on each cheek, taking my time to work up slowly to firmer hits, getting the angle just so for that really good *smack* sound that indicates what would be a good, stinging hit. Every so often she would lift her ass a little higher, turn her head to look back at me out of the corner of her eye as if to plead with me, "Harder, please...". How could I possibly resist that? I continued to spank her harder, rubbing her ass to take some of the sting away after every couple hits. Eventually I realized that I wasn't going to be hurting this girl, that she could take far more than what I was prepared to give her this day and simply focused on making her cheeks as red as possible. Eventually, my hand hurt worse than her ass did and I changed gears, giving her a quick rubdown before pushing her legs apart and noticing that her panties were completely, ridiculously soaked. She really wasn't kidding about liking spankings...

She asked what I would have her do next and, recalling a point in our conversations where she said she literally likes to choke on cock, told her to get on her knees, unzip me and take me in her mouth. Just like that she did as instructed.  A few seconds later she was kneeling between my legs, her skirt still up around her waist with my cock in her mouth, looking up at me while she gave me one of the best blowjobs I've ever had.  This was getting hotter and more interesting by the minute.

Now, being pretty damn picky about my blowjobs I have to say I was impressed, and that's pretty rare on a first go-round. If you're going to be down there, you best like what you're doing, be enthusiastic and bring some technique. This girl started off nice and slow, working up quite a bit of saliva, then worked her hand into it, wrapped lightly around my shaft, following her lips up and down, giving her hand a little twist each direction. And, true to her word, every so often she would take me all the way into her throat, the entirety of my cock disappearing into her mouth until she had to stop to breathe, then continuing on with her blowjob, her spit all over my cock, my balls, her hands, running down her chin... She managed to make an enormous mess look like the hottest blowjob I'd ever seen, in porn or otherwise.

Eventually I told her to stop and head into the bedroom so I'd have more room to fuck her properly. I told her to take her panties off and leave the rest on, pull her skirt up and lay back, then proceeded to go down on probably the wettest pussy I've ever had my mouth on. Most of the rest of the sex was pretty straightforward vanilla while I got to know what she liked, what made her cum. One of the things I've learned is that some of my dominance comes in the form of orgasm control. Once I know what works I very deliberately guide her body in the direction I want it to go, whether it's directly to an orgasm or on a nice, long journey toward one, only to be denied several times before being allowed. So getting to know what gets her off is typically my Step 1. The Teacher can now attest to the fact that once I know where all the buttons are, I win. I own you... And consequently she wins as well!

But back to my story. I hadn't yet put all the pieces of my squirting theory together at this point, or even really mastered making it happen with my hands, but this girl was multi-orgasmic and twice while she was on top of me squirted while she was coming, leaving a nice puddle on my stomach that dripped down onto her bed. Had I known then what I do now, I would have had a lot more fun with her!

One of the things we had discussed at dinner was my wanting to explore the control and dominant nature of something we see a lot of in porn but don't give much thought to: grabbing a woman by the hair, telling her to open her mouth and finishing by jerking off into said open mouth. While I had cum in a lot of mouths, I'd never done so in this fashion. I was going to change this tonight. When I was ready I told her to get down on her knees, stood in front of her, grabbed her by the hair on the back of her head, tilted it back and told her to open her mouth. She complied, with the most amazing look in her eyes that said nothing would make her happier than to be kneeling here waiting for me to give her my cum in her mouth. Not long after she opened her mouth I was ready. I did my best to aim and got most of it in her mouth, but between my contracting muscles and my orgasms being, well, pretty powerful sometimes (I did once manage to pull out of someone, stay kneeling between their legs while jerking off onto their stomach and manage to get cum way up into their hair and the pillow next to their head, so yeah) I accidentally got a bit on her face and in her hair, which probably counts as my first (almost) facial.

Due to our schedules I didn't see her more than a handful of times after that (we would make plans but quite often one of us would postpone) but we did get more into my dominant role in the bedroom, taking her as I wanted, giving commands and praise, and just generally laying down a good foundation for me to build my future kinky world on. So for that I thank you, E.

                                                                 

Hey, Blogger...

So unless you actually use Blogger you may not be aware of the meltdown this week. They pushed an unstable update that went Hindenburg and the entire site went read-only. And as another fun addition, all recent posts were wiped. Will that be fixed? I'm not counting on it. Luckily I saved my last post prior to the wipe and I'll put it back up shortly.

Forty And More or I Give a Great Blow Job

Something I like to do, especially with new partners, is train them and push them to do things they've never done before. This should be fairly obvious by now. This is especially true when the concept is entirely new to them. Most recently it's been squirting with GGPB and the Teacher.

This post, however, concerns a particular evening we shared the other week (I really have to get more current and on top of my posting) which was not just a first for her, but for me as well. Teacher is, of course, multi-orgasmic. It's not a requirement in my partners, but it's certainly fun. More fun for them than me? Probably. I can deal with that, however. Having that power over someone is a nice little ego boost, but I digress. I've enjoyed people with this ability in the past and typically they'd have somewhere between 10 and 20 orgasms before we were done, but i'd never really pushed anyone to keep going. As in, they tell me they're done and I reply "No, you aren't. You're going to give me 10 more".

But I did the other night... We had set a goal of 20 orgasms from the beginning. Well, I set the goal, and she complied like a good girl. Very good, actually. I had taken her to around 16 or 17 so far, starting with her coming all over my face a few times, then flipping her legs back by her head and fucking her until she couldn't stop shaking, then starting in on the g-spot stimulation with my hand. This is pretty normal for her but tonight, once she felt my fingers take control of her it was like a switch flipped and the orgasm machine was on overdrive. This was around her 12th or 13th when this started and we pretty quickly worked her up to that 16th or 17th (it was hard to keep track, what can I say), one or two at a time. I told her she was almost done but apparently her body had other ideas. After a few seconds she hit her next one... and didn't stop. One after another after another. By the time she was done she was at 23, i believe. Six or seven in a row, totally blowing past my goal for her. And after a display like that I certainly wasn't going to stop, and despite her appearing completely exhausted and wanting a break, I told her now the number was 30 and started again.

The orgasms came pretty easily after that, sometimes one at a time, other times in groups which made it hard to determine a number. Once again she blew by the goal and was mid-thirties in no time, so I kept pushing her. Should we try this again she'll be a better girl next time and count them off so i'm not forced to estimate. Conservatively, the final number was between 40 and 45 with the highlight being this: I had just finished making her cum 4-5 times with my mouth. While she was laying there panting I was hovering my mouth over her, breathing on her pussy and barely touching it. When I moved over her clit, however, she started to moan again, her body writhing the same way she would if I had flicked her with my tongue. Totally intrigued, I continued to breathe on her, quickly working up to simply blowing on her clit and... she. fucking. came. Not just a small one, a full on hips-bucking-under-me orgasm. GGPB's talent for thinking herself off aside, I'd never seen anything like that and I must say it was pretty cool. I may have to experiment with that and, if it happens again, put it on my sexual resume just for fun. Yes, ladies, I can officially breathe on you and make you cum. Let's do this.